We went on this walk to celebrate the win of the forces of renewable energy over all things reactionary (because that's what the Trump presidency
was; it wasn't conservative, but it was reactionary):
These turrbines are only a stone throw away from the Praia do Norte, which holds the
Guinness Book of Records for the highest surfable waves on the
planet.
And while we are at it: have you listened to the Trump Tape of last Saturday, in which he
asks the Georgian Secretary of State to "find him the votes" to overturn the
elections in his favor? How often he uses the phrase "the people of
Georgia"? Well, we are outdoing him in this little fragment from our novel
Green Eyes, in which the semi-fictional Georgian District Attorney Hunnsbruck appears on local TV (Channel Two) to defend his record. We're in one of the later chapters:
Maurice fiddles with his iPad, holds it up. “We’re at the top of the hour,
as they say here,” he says, “let’s see, let’s pop in.”
The newsroom of
Channel Two materializes on his screen. An anchorman and an anchorwoman appear in the beaming studio and greet each
other expansively against the backdrop of the police department’s parking
lot. Assorted vehicles are still parked there, and Charleze (the local
reporter), is still on location. “The top story today is so breathtaking, it
is positively, absolutely, and definitively shocking,” the anchorwoman
(“Olivia”) enthuses, “Charleze has more.”
Charleze expansively greets anchorwoman (“Olivia”), who expansively greets
back. Next to Charleze a man is standing whom we know already thanks to our
interest in family blogs. Hunnsbruck is dressed this time, dressed to kill,
you’d say, or at least dressed to advocate innovative punishments for police
department homicides, so he’s emphasizing local roots with a light
seersucker suit of modest stripes and cut. The reporter turns to the
seersucker suit and introduces him as the youngest DA in the history of the
galaxy: “When we arrived on the scene this morning,” Charleze says to
Hunnsbruck, “having been alerted by vigilant members of the Georgia Beach
community to the unsettling traffic on the lot outside the local police
department, right here where we are standing, rumors were swirling that an
officer has been shockingly shot dead inside and that an assistant district
attorney from your office is implicated. Does the size of the CSI vehicle”
(pan on the white-cubicled truck) “points to the size of the crime committed
inside?”
“Splendid”—-Maurice.
“Thank you for having me on”—-Hunnsbruck.
“You are always welcome”—-Charleze.
And now, in unison: “Thank you”—-both.
A moment of recovery, Charleze catching her breath. “The word is, Sir, that
Lieutenant Blake Jackson of the Georgia Beach police force was shot dead
last night.”
“Although I’ve never had a chance to meet him in person, I am convinced
that he is, or was, a truly wonderful person. My thoughts and prayers are
with his family and friends at this difficult juncture.”
“We have to interrupt briefly for this message,” Charleze informs
Hunnsbruck, who gracefully cedes the floor to a risqué soda commercial with
a curly-blond girl, the wind-surfer back of a hot male (only the back), and
a soda bottle. When finally allowed back, Charleze and Hunnsbruck have
obviously had a chance to follow the ad on their return video—-so Charleze
suppresses a giggle when asking Hunnsbruck: “Sir, this is a shocking crime,
is it not,” (her left hand gesturing, digits splayed, dramatic
nail-paint-jobs exposed, the right hand doggedly clinging to the phallic
mike) “is it not a shocking crime when a trusted member of the local police
force is shot dead while in full discharge of his duties. How do you feel
about this?”
“Charleze, let me tell the viewers, the people of Georgia feel terrible
about this, and in particular the people of my District, and I, as the DA in
charge, feel exactly as terrible about it as they do. This is a shocking
crime of which the people of Georgia disapprove strongly. It is, uuhh,
illegal. Life is sacrosanct from inception, especially when it comes to the
police.”
“Can you assure our viewers that your office won’t let this particularly
shocking crime go unpunished?”
“The people of Georgia know me and my office, and I can assure the people
of Georgia that I will work tirelessly to aggressively pursue the
perpetrators of this shocking crime and bring them to justice.”
“What will be the charges?”
“It’s early days, but the perpetrators will look at malice murder, felony
murder, aggravated assault, aggravated battery, possession of a firearm
during the commission of a crime, maybe on several counts, or more.”
“Will you seek the death penalty?”
“We seek the death penalty whenever it is appropriate.”
“The people of Georgia will be grateful.”
“This is another step ahead in the never-ending battle against
crime.”
We’re interrupted by the studio and another commercial.
“Did you listen to what he just said,” Alex says, “about the never-ending
battle against crime. It’s like saying we’re battling infinity, and we will
count to three, and four, and five, and go on and on until we run out of
numbers.”
Not everybody gets it, Alex has to explain.
“You’re better off if you don’t have to explain your own jokes,” Maurice
says.
“It wasn’t a joke, it was the very opposite,” Alex replies.
“May I cut in on that?” the newsroom comes back, “Mister Hunnsbruck, a
member of your office has been connected to the shocking events unfolding at
the police office. Could you comment on that?”
“The case is being investigated extensively, and I would like to thank
Deputy Sheriffs Hartley Hansford, Harrison Thomas, and Jeremy Hicks from
Glynn county, Lieutenant Thomas Raybon, Lieutenant Peter Hoyle, and
Lieutenant Mario LaStrada from the GBI, and many unnamed others for their
tireless efforts. I can assure the people of Georgia that no stone will be
left unturned in this ongoing endeavor.”
“The people of Georgia will thank you for that, Sir.”
“Thank you.”
Are you still there? Then you will like the book. Give it a try:
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