Okay, let’s press the issue. “These directions,” I say, “they’re for
Monaville, or for Monroeville?”
“Yes,” he says.
“Capote was born in Monroeville,” I say.
“Truman Capote?”
“Yes. Your Monaville?”
“No,” he says, “I would know.”
“Monaville or Monroeville?”
“Yes,” he says.
I’m trying to flirt, that’s obvious, but is he flirting back? All these
yes’s and no’s, what do they mean? Reader, do you realize—-perhaps not a big
insight, but anyhow—-do you realize that in our situation a flirt means more
than a fuck? Much more?
I can’t ask him whether he’s flirting, of course. “You’re like the Bible,
it’s yes, yes, or no, no,” I flirt.
“Yes.”
It’s coming back to me now. And I don’t mean the Bonny Tyler song “A Total
Eclipse of the Heart,” I mean the Harold Halma photograph
scandal.
Yes, that’s the way to go, much better than to ask him to carefully
evaluate our homosexual encounter retrospectively and split the infinitive
in the process. “You know about Truman Capote?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“You’ve heard about the Harold Halma photograph scandal?”
“No.”
“Capote was already a budding young author, after World War Two, when
Harold Halma, a photographer in New York City, was commissioned to take an
author picture of the prodigy, Capote recumbent on a winged settee, eyes
staring into the camera, the hand resting on his abdomen. Halma’s picture
caused a scandal at the time, people got very upset, even though Capote was
fully dressed, mind you, since, since there was this suggestion that he--quote--was dreamily contemplating some out-rage against conventional
morality--unquote.” Because, evidently, he had one hand in talking distance
of his crotch. Quote, contemplating some outrage against conventional
morality, unquote. Pathetic. Imagine this happening today.”
Let’s see what Ben’s going to say. I guess he masturbates a lot. Two times
per day. Three times on Sundays.
“It’s not yes,” he says, “it’s 'yea':...’But let your communication be, Yea,
yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.’ Matthew, five-thirty
seven.”
Are you still there? Then you will like the book. Give it a try:
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