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| More quotes in Michael Ampersant's This Is Heaven |
Aug 24, 2018
Aug 21, 2018
This Is Heaven -- for the record
We've started some sort of add campaign for This Is Heaven on LustSpiel, much of which is NSFW. He's one post that's OK (dunno why it's blurred here):
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| More of this in Michael Ampersant's This Is Heaven |
Inkitt (3) --- Bestsellers, Amazon sales rank, and much more
James Beamon has already reacted to our letter of yesterday about Inkitt, and here's his answer:
Your theory and discussion on Inkitt's underlying drivers with their touting of AI is definitely worth merit, to the point that I may write a follow-up post covering your analysis. Oh, and to fill in some of the gaps of where their "bestsellers" lie, I present to you the Kindle Sales Rank Calculator:
https://kindlepreneur.com/amazon-kdp-sales-rank-calculator/
As long as you don't put in commas, this thing will convert the current sales rank to how many books they're selling per day. Virtually EVERY book I put into from Inkitt's best seller rank was selling less than 1 per day. To put it into working context, anything higher than a Amazon rank of 100,000 will be less than 1 book. One book, Eric Olafsson: Midshipman, is at 407,416. Egan Brass, the guy I interviewed for "The Bright Side of Inkitt", has a series called the Esper Files and the first one is at 321,238, the second is at 650,597, and the third is at 891,640. At that rate I imagine Egan hasn't sold a single copy of Book 3 in months.
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| James Beamon |
Now I haven't looked at every book in their lineup, but the one book I did see that was doing worthwhile numbers was Chosen by Lauren Chow. Her rank is 55,707 which translates to her moving about 5 books per day.
Aug 20, 2018
Inkitt (2) --- Inkitt and AI---are Inkitt's sales so bad that they have to keep their numbers under wraps?
Inkitt has defined itself as a publisher "without an acquisition department." It invites willing authors to put their manuscripts on its platform and promises to publish the best-performing ones as fee-yielding books. Performance, it claims, is measured by an AI-inspired algorithm.
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| James Beamon |
In January this year, James Beamon, one of these authors, engaged in a dialogue with the platform about said algorithm which yielded little but obfuscation and gobbledygook Inkitt-wise. I thought about this and sent him the following letter (mildly redacted):
I have posted two or three stories about Inkitt and had a chance to observe the phenomena that you describe in your post (regarding the relationship between reading behavior and their analytical engine).
Before I started to write fiction, I taught Artificial Intelligence at the University of Amsterdam, the discipline whose name Inkitt invokes as its unique sales proposition (“our algorithm is AI”).
My hunch is that this algorithm is mostly ballyhoo.
Why?
The algorithm supposedly links reading behavior to sales success, so it either (a) knows, or (b) has learned how reading behavior predicts book sales.
(Ad a) Imagine that you are the programmer, or the team of programmers hired to code the algorithm. You will have some hunches as to how the reading behavior re successful novels differs from reading behavior re less successful novels (and, perhaps not coincidentally, these hunches surface in the answers we get from Inkitt (“readers unable to put the novel down”)). There's some obvious plausibility to this, but initial hunches are not Artificial Intelligence. They represent the natural intelligence of a bunch of kids (mostly/usually), who spend their nights with a cold pizza on their lap hired to write the code. In other words, Inkitt’s AI-touting sales proposition does not hold, or at least: it did not hold at the outset.
If Inkitt has an advantage NOW over traditional (human) intelligence (agents, editors), it would be on the data side. Agents or editors don't have data about the reading behavior of a manuscript that hasn’t been read by anybody except them, whereas Inkitt, 2.5 years into its existence, can claim to possess such data.
Aug 19, 2018
In eigener Sache
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| Perry Brass |
The eponymous Perry Brass shared the link to Death on the Beach, and wrote:
My friend Michael Ampersant's story "Death on the Beach" has just been published at a site called Transnational Queer Underground. Michael's work—his original language is German—has often reminded me of Vladimir Nabokov—they both have a pristine functionality to their English that opens up amazing vistas and places where forbidden desires become reality.
Well, hope springs eternally.
Aug 16, 2018
Death on the beach
By Michael Ampersant
We have a new story out in TRANSNATIONAL QUEER UNDERGROUND (whatever that means). And like so many of our shorts, it's almost true (only the punch "line" is fiction). Serious first-time material, folks. NSFW. Here's how it starts:
Zeeland is a collection of islands nestled in the delta of the Rhine river. There are beaches, and the nearest one from our house is-—or was-—ten minutes on the bike. Zeeland was famously gereformeerd then-—prudish-Calvinistic-—and there was no animo for the naked beaches they had up north near Amsterdam. So, our seashore had changing facilities, clapboard cabins with a fore room, closet hooks, doors, locks, and a plank running along the wall of the main room serving as a bench.
I had just turned twelve. Something had happened to me during the winter, and when I went for the first swim of the new season, something had happened to the dude--not always the same one--that was hanging out there. You would show up, he’d gaze at you, conspicuously, then disappear into the dunes. In previous years I had ignored him, but this time I couldn’t fail to pay attention. His gaze did something to me. It was like a loopy ditty in my ear that followed me as I biked home. And I knew I wouldn’t tell Mom.
Continues here. Give it a try!
We have a new story out in TRANSNATIONAL QUEER UNDERGROUND (whatever that means). And like so many of our shorts, it's almost true (only the punch "line" is fiction). Serious first-time material, folks. NSFW. Here's how it starts:
Zeeland is a collection of islands nestled in the delta of the Rhine river. There are beaches, and the nearest one from our house is-—or was-—ten minutes on the bike. Zeeland was famously gereformeerd then-—prudish-Calvinistic-—and there was no animo for the naked beaches they had up north near Amsterdam. So, our seashore had changing facilities, clapboard cabins with a fore room, closet hooks, doors, locks, and a plank running along the wall of the main room serving as a bench.
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| Original illustration by Heather Sinclair |
I had just turned twelve. Something had happened to me during the winter, and when I went for the first swim of the new season, something had happened to the dude--not always the same one--that was hanging out there. You would show up, he’d gaze at you, conspicuously, then disappear into the dunes. In previous years I had ignored him, but this time I couldn’t fail to pay attention. His gaze did something to me. It was like a loopy ditty in my ear that followed me as I biked home. And I knew I wouldn’t tell Mom.
Continues here. Give it a try!
Aug 12, 2018
Aug 8, 2018
Aug 6, 2018
Aug 5, 2018
Jamie & Dex---Best Gay Erotica IV now available for preorder
Luigi took me aside this morning and said that, however much he enjoys our leetle get-togethers, he can no longer—-despite his best efforts and my best efforts—-hide the absence of any payments towards Room 312 from the all-knowing reservation system of the Savoy Palace Hotel. He fussed with a drawer, and held up a credit card. Here, he said under his breath, go to the Via Tornabuoni, buy yourself a new outfit, and take up position on the steps of the Loggia della Signoria…that should solve your leetle problems, pretty boy that you are. But don’t forget to return the credit card first.
He then looked left and right the way Italian hotel managers look left and right before getting a blow job, waved me to his side of the reception counter, and there we went again: me squatting in the hollow space under the desk accommodating his Italian dick, while he accommodated a new guest, a Contessa, apparently. I’m a slut, fortunately, I can handle this.
So, that’s why I’m here on the steps of the Loggia sitting next to the marble statue of Cellini’s Perseus, me a wannabe hustler with a boyfriend who, suddenly, last month, discovered his passion for the Tuscan Renaissance and begged me to take him to Florence where he would study with a certain Professore Pellegrini, a mysterious art historian...
Aug 4, 2018
"That's why his hand is so big" -- David's tiny thing -- teaser
Jamie & Dex, the almost-underage duo, have just been presented with a strange contraption, something that holds the middle between a copy of Michelangelo's David and--- yes---what? Hint: a remote control comes with it:
Jamie wouldn’t get physical unless all thought experiments fail, so he hands the clicker to me. And I, I’m not particularly bright (as you know), and I’m also the only person in the world scared by too many buttons on remote controls. So, I put the thing aside and feel hungry. I don’t know what time it is, but dusk is advancing, and I call room service to order the few items on the room menu that Google Translate understands.
It takes forever, of course, but around witching hour there’s the din of a trolley outside, accompanied by the young, Italian voices of Michelangelo and Leonardo, the two cutest pages of this establishment, them always on the night shift on special orders of the all-knowing Luigi. I know this because we know them, and there has been certain camaraderie growing between us, due to the fact, oddly, that we can’t tip them with our comatose credit cards. As usual, Michelangelo and Leonardo enter with a sense of splash (“Ecco qua”), and, like their famous namesakes, they’ve perfected the Mona Lisa smile---how do grownups say, the art of ambiguity, they say---always leaving in the middle whether their eccoes refer to the food or to themselves. If it wouldn’t be so difficult between Jamie and me, we’d have possibly agreed long ago that the pages are---or would be---much tastier that the food, but there’s no time for further reflection since Daviddo is still the elephant in the room. “Que cos’è questo?” Michelangelo asks, and I, glad to get rid of it, grab the clicker and hand it to him: “You find out.”
“Hé, hé, hé,” the page coughs, and pushes one of its buttons. It must have been either the right or the wrong button because the Daviddo springs to life, a bit too forcefully, but then he removes the golden loin leaf from his crotch with a smooth, experienced gesture, and now he activates his right hand---somewhat oversized, his paw, like on David’s original sculpture---and undertakes to touch himself in unmistakable ways. And the organ in question, it obliges with an unmistakable reaction, something never seen before on Renaissance statuary.
“That’s why his hand is so big,” Michelangelo exclaims, whose English is better than Leo's. He grabs the remote and pushes a different button, some sort of volume control looks like, since Daviddo accelerates his jerking (“up”), decelerates it (“down”), then pauses. Michelangelo shoots a questioning look at Jamie: red lines need to be crossed, or not, who knows. Leo, the more forthcoming of the two, reclaims the remote and says, “Mi chiedo se può venire.” He looks expectantly at his polyglot partner, who shakes his head, but then confides, with a charming blush on his cheeks: “Micco wonders if he can cum.”
The food is getting cold, but we wonder too. Even little Jamie does. Isn’t this what you read in the math books, how sex puppets change your life? Leonardo hands the control to my partner. Jamie, the resident genius, pushes a red button, and the thing halts its jerking.
“No-no,” Micco cries, “we want to know.” So, Jamie pushes a different button, and Daviddo’s tool resumes its improbable expansion. The days of tiny willies are gone. In its original state his little thing wasn’t even two inches, but now it balloons to, what, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen inches and counting, projecting from his torso like the improbable phallus of any of these mythological satires you see on LustSpiel (the internet mag that won this porn prize last year).
Jamie wouldn’t get physical unless all thought experiments fail, so he hands the clicker to me. And I, I’m not particularly bright (as you know), and I’m also the only person in the world scared by too many buttons on remote controls. So, I put the thing aside and feel hungry. I don’t know what time it is, but dusk is advancing, and I call room service to order the few items on the room menu that Google Translate understands.
It takes forever, of course, but around witching hour there’s the din of a trolley outside, accompanied by the young, Italian voices of Michelangelo and Leonardo, the two cutest pages of this establishment, them always on the night shift on special orders of the all-knowing Luigi. I know this because we know them, and there has been certain camaraderie growing between us, due to the fact, oddly, that we can’t tip them with our comatose credit cards. As usual, Michelangelo and Leonardo enter with a sense of splash (“Ecco qua”), and, like their famous namesakes, they’ve perfected the Mona Lisa smile---how do grownups say, the art of ambiguity, they say---always leaving in the middle whether their eccoes refer to the food or to themselves. If it wouldn’t be so difficult between Jamie and me, we’d have possibly agreed long ago that the pages are---or would be---much tastier that the food, but there’s no time for further reflection since Daviddo is still the elephant in the room. “Que cos’è questo?” Michelangelo asks, and I, glad to get rid of it, grab the clicker and hand it to him: “You find out.”
“Hé, hé, hé,” the page coughs, and pushes one of its buttons. It must have been either the right or the wrong button because the Daviddo springs to life, a bit too forcefully, but then he removes the golden loin leaf from his crotch with a smooth, experienced gesture, and now he activates his right hand---somewhat oversized, his paw, like on David’s original sculpture---and undertakes to touch himself in unmistakable ways. And the organ in question, it obliges with an unmistakable reaction, something never seen before on Renaissance statuary.
“That’s why his hand is so big,” Michelangelo exclaims, whose English is better than Leo's. He grabs the remote and pushes a different button, some sort of volume control looks like, since Daviddo accelerates his jerking (“up”), decelerates it (“down”), then pauses. Michelangelo shoots a questioning look at Jamie: red lines need to be crossed, or not, who knows. Leo, the more forthcoming of the two, reclaims the remote and says, “Mi chiedo se può venire.” He looks expectantly at his polyglot partner, who shakes his head, but then confides, with a charming blush on his cheeks: “Micco wonders if he can cum.”
The food is getting cold, but we wonder too. Even little Jamie does. Isn’t this what you read in the math books, how sex puppets change your life? Leonardo hands the control to my partner. Jamie, the resident genius, pushes a red button, and the thing halts its jerking.
“No-no,” Micco cries, “we want to know.” So, Jamie pushes a different button, and Daviddo’s tool resumes its improbable expansion. The days of tiny willies are gone. In its original state his little thing wasn’t even two inches, but now it balloons to, what, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen inches and counting, projecting from his torso like the improbable phallus of any of these mythological satires you see on LustSpiel (the internet mag that won this porn prize last year).
Jul 31, 2018
A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush
Cool, folks, we've been added to the Grand Archive Library with our GREEN EYES:
- Electrical Systems for Facilities Maintenance Personnel By Glen A. Mazur
- Green Eyes By Michael Ampersant
- Why Our Emotions Are More Rational Than We Think Feeling Smart (Hardback) - Common By Eyal Winter
The numbering is off, though, we're no. 58 on the list. At least, they didn't misspell our name.
Anything we have to add to this? Yes, it inspired a new "quote-unquote" pic, this one:
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| More of this in This Is Heaven |
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 29, 2018
A bestowal from His Serene Highness -- David's tiny thing -- teaser
Jamie & Dex, the almost under-aged duo, are holed up in their unaffordable hotel room in Florence, when they get an unexpected visit from a certain Shah Ruk Khan:
I have no idea how long I slept, but now I’m awake, risen by the bed-side phone. These phones have stopped ringing a long time ago unless it’s from the reception desk, meaning a visitor is calling whose name is something like Shah Ruk Khan. He has an Indian accent and informs me that he’s ordered “on the highest authority to present a gift to the young sirs-—a bestowal from His Serene Highness.” Three minutes later a midget with a turban enters the room, ushered in by manager Luigi himself, and followed by a nerdy-looking porter pushing a dolly. On the dolly sits a very large box, wrapped cross-wise in silky red ribbon, looking like an over-sized Christmas present. Jamie raises his eyes from his math book. Luigi exits with some ado.
I have no idea how long I slept, but now I’m awake, risen by the bed-side phone. These phones have stopped ringing a long time ago unless it’s from the reception desk, meaning a visitor is calling whose name is something like Shah Ruk Khan. He has an Indian accent and informs me that he’s ordered “on the highest authority to present a gift to the young sirs-—a bestowal from His Serene Highness.” Three minutes later a midget with a turban enters the room, ushered in by manager Luigi himself, and followed by a nerdy-looking porter pushing a dolly. On the dolly sits a very large box, wrapped cross-wise in silky red ribbon, looking like an over-sized Christmas present. Jamie raises his eyes from his math book. Luigi exits with some ado.
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| "The statue is bound to live an interesting life of its own." |
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 21, 2018
Jul 18, 2018
Uume has redressed, pretty unfazed -- David's tiny thing -- teaser
You're possibly expecting a followup to the last "Yellow Parrot" teaser, but we are misbehaving as usual and have switched channels, and so we are working on a novella about Jamie & Dex, the heroes of a somewhat discordant series of short stories. In its present form, and mutatis mutandis, the manuscript uses our contribution to Rob Rosen's anthology "Best Gay Erotica of the Year, Vol. IV" as a point of departure, and continues with Jamie and Dex holed up in their unaffordable Florence hotel room. We've just had a flagrante delivered by Jamie, with Dex and Uume on the receiving end, and now...Dex narrating...
I skip a few details.
Jamie—-well, he knows I’m a slut. We fart in each other’s presence, there aren’t many secrets between us. And his mathematical mind will have figured out that Luigi’s pecuniary lenience---how would Jamie say this---is a dependent variable in any equation explaining our staggering Savoy bill. But one can go too far.
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| Uume has redressed, pretty unfazed, and blown air-kisses in departure |
Uume has redressed, pretty unfazed, and blown air-kisses in departure, at both of us-—this wasn’t his first flagrante, you can tell. And Jamie, tidy Jamie has collected my Tornabuoni outfit from the floor, briefs, T, and shorts, and stacked them away. He sits next to me on the bed and stares at these damned Archlight trainers from Louis Vuitton still loitering on the carpet as silent witnesses of my recent past. I’m stark naked (another silent witness). Jamie-—I steal a sideways glance-—is pale, dead pale. Well, he’s always pale, even under the Californian sun he was, when we fell in love, or I fell in love with him. But he’s beautiful, so beautiful with his androgynous face: the fine, low-bridged nose, a nanosecond too long, the blue, expressionless eyes (each time I look at him I have to check whether the color hasn’t changed), or his perfect chin lines framing the sensitive, always questioning lips. Not to mention the angelic forehead capped by a ginger brush of fine, shiny, honey-scented hair---the perfect hair of a truly-young person.
Jul 16, 2018
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