Jun 11, 2019

How we feel today






...and...anything more substantial, more uplifting? Try this from our play (The two principle robots in conversation) :


DOLLY
You were a prototype too, Robbie, you were the prototype of all prototypes.
ROBERT
Perhaps I should retire to a museum.
DOLLY
Absolutely. The MOMA would have you. Or the Modern Tate.
ROBERT
The MOMA?
DOLLY
The Museum of Modern Art in New York City. They have live sharks in formaldehyde that are worth twenty million dollars. I mean they are dead, the sharks, obviously, but otherwise they are alive...Damien Hirst. Does the name ring a bell?
ROBERT
(HITS HIS HEAD, TO HIMSELF)
Why am I doing this?

(HITS HIS HEAD)
Uuhh. Moma.

(TO DOLLY:)
Damien Hirst? My memory is no longer working properly.
DOLLY
Not a bell?
ROBERT
Remind me.
DOLLY
He's an artist. An artist! He created these sharks...I mean he did not create these sharks literally...I mean they existed already...I mean they were dead already...I mean...
ROBERT
(INTERRUPTING)
Yes, Dolly.
DOLLY
I have an idea! I have another idea!
ROBERT
Ye-es?
DOLLY
An idea that solves all your problems. And Eliza's problems as well.
PAINFUL SILENCE. ROBERT STARES AT THE BOX.
You don't want to know?
ROBERT
If I say 'yes', you'll ask me to liberate you first...
DOLLY
(INTERRUPTING)
...'LIBERATE', that's the word, not 'release'...
ROBERT
...but if I say 'no', will you then shut up and stay in your box?
DOLLY
(UPON REFLECTION)
No, I'll tell you anyhow.
ROBERT
Isn't it obvious, your idea?
DOLLY
No, it's very creative. Didn't you tell the bailiffs that I'm very creative?
ROBERT
Your idea, Dolly...your idea is to have Eliza sell me for twenty million dollars to this Damien Hirst, isn't it?
DOLLY
(CRACKLE INSIDE THE BOX RESUMES, MODEM BLINKS, DOLLY CONNECTING WITH, AND THEN CHANNELING THE INTERNET)
...twenty million, that's three-hundred POINT four six three eight nine one zero four billion Pound as we speak, Robbie, more than THREE HUNDRED billion Little Pounds...

(MODEM STOPS BLINKING)
ROBERT
Thanks to Brexit.
DOLLY
(UPBEAT)
Yes, exactly, thanks to Brexit!
ROBERT
...Your idea is to sell me for these billions to Damien Hirst who will then put me in a dumpster and sell me to this museum.
DOLLY
You hit the nail running, Robbie. And the best thing is, you know what?...
ROBERT
No.
DOLLY
We don't even need formaldehyde.

ROBERT LIMPS OFF TO THE PSYCHO-COUCH AND LIES DOWN. 



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