German for beginners (19) (Glenn)

We post this for no particular reason, of course:

Freedom Fries feuilleton (18)

Previously: George W. Bush seems to have second thoughts about his administration. Meanwhile, Samuel Fisher, the media tycoon, worries about declining ratings. We've just learned of a prank being visited on Prof. John Yoo, the author of the torture memos, at Berkeley University.

Pamela Timbers studied her nails. She had become increasingly interested in her nails since Sandra O’Connor had told her that she would need them a lot on the bench, especially for Scalia’s eyes. Sandra had had a few glasses then, but Sandra had always had had a few glasses---in vino veritas is a principled line of defense for any esteemed jurist. Pamela moved her attention to the clock on the wall. There are two types of deans. Deans with a large clock on the wall, and deans with a small clock on the wall. Her’s was large.

The whole idea was to make it as awkward for him as possible. This would only work, however, if she managed to maintain a facade of torture neutrality. She would not tell him to go fuck himself. No, she would not. Although, having been forced to study this herself now--- due to Yoo’s unfortunate return from Washington---she had been appalled to learn how often rape is deployed as a method of torture. No, she would be all esteemed jurist. Nothing but subtle allusions wrapped in academic lingo. Needle his conscience like you needle a Hopi puppet.

He should enter the ante room now, she thought, and, yes, there came the noise of somebody entering the ante room. He would explain that he would have to see the Dean right away, and yes, there was a muted conversation between the soprano of her secretary and a castrato voice of Asian provenance. And, yes, the door opened, and there was the Professor of Torture.

“John,” she said, resting in her chair, “good to see you.” He didn’t have an appointment, so ‘good to see you’ was nicely out of joint, a good way to begin. She cast an inconspicuous glance at the large clock on the wall, then at her nails. “What brings you to my office?”

Stay tuned for the next installment on Tuesday, or read the entire story published so far here.

The outlook for 2011

We are getting a letter from our Danish Bank:

"Attached is our equity outlook for 2011.

Our base case scenario is:
“Although the economy looks poor, investors should nevertheless invest and the FED’s direct focus on inflation
and massive stimuli have an actual opportunity to affect either the economy or at least the investment decisions”.
• Stimuli are working and the way is paved for a starting ’normalization’ of equity prices in terms of valuation.
• Price increases of 10-15% [they mean: "stock prices"].

We have 3 other scenarios covering best (+30%), worst (-30%) and no effect (+/-5%)."

Isn't this helpful? Especially the other scenarios? "Best" (+30), "worst" (-30). Nature abhors the vacuum (Aristotle), but loves symmetry (Einstein). What does nature think of statements that are vacuous thanks to their symmetry?

Global warming & local cooling

It's sorted. The snow, the sleaze, whatever, global warming is to blame. Judah Cohen, the international climate expert (yet another Cohen, family?) has a nice piece in the International Herald Tribune that explains it all.

(1) Global warming leads to rising moisture levels around the globe.

(2) Moisture turns into precipitation, and large plains north of the Himalaya, Tien Shan, and the Altai are covered with more snow for a longer period of time during the winter of the Northern Hemisphere than before Obama's birth (4 Aug. 1961, not 13 Aug. 1961).

(3) Snow reflects the sun, and sends energy back into space (cooling).

(4) Unusual amounts of cold air build up around said mountain chains...

(5) ...which sends the jet stream meandering more than it would have done otherwise.

(6) As the jet stream meanders more, it travels farther north, and then brings back cold air from the Arctic.

QED.

(3bis) Post hoc, propter hoc.

Freedom Fries feuilleton (17)

Previously: George W. Bush seems to have second thoughts about his administration. Meanwhile, Samuel Fisher, the media tycoon, worries about declining ratings. We've finished the first chapter, and are attending a class of Prof. John Yoo, the author of the torture memos, who has returned to his chair at Berkeley University.

Jim pulled a piece of black cloth from his bag, got up, and climbed on the white table in front of him. He strapped the cloth over his head, stretched the arms sideways, and produced a reasonable likeness with the Abu Ghraib mock torture icon.

“Talk about ... constitutionality; any questions about how this works?” Yoo had just been asking.
“I’ve got one question,” Jim said, now standing on the table. “How long can I be required to stand her till it counts as torture?” The other students were laughing, but it wasn’t clear whether they sided more with him or with Yoo.

Yoo kept his cool. “Unfortunately, I’m going to have to end class,” he replied.
-“It’s awkward for you, but it is very uncomfortable for me, I can tell you,” Jim said.
-“You’re putting yourself in that position.”
-“I’d love to move, but each time I do, my balls get buzzed.
-“I have to end class now, I’m afraid.”
-“Please Professor,” Jim was trying again, but Yoo interrupted:
-“I’ll give you a certain amount of time before I report you to security.” He exited under the applause of the students.

A certain amount of time later---two seconds--- an administrative lady appeared, mildly agitated, and announced that anybody not enrolled in the class would have to leave, now, now and forever. Jim, who wasn’t sure his lines had worked, turned around to Zack. Zack gave him thumbs up. “You’re headed for YouTube fame,” Zack said. Jim stepped off the table.

***

Stay tuned for the next installment on Friday, or read the entire story published so far here.

In anticipation of the next inauguration

A message from the Tea Party? Who is doing this?

Hint:"POTUS" is Secret Service talk for "President of the US," "FLOTUS" means "First Lady of the US."

Dead Show Official Movie Trailer HD (Glenn)

Glenn writes:

"Ben, my 9 year old Grandson, called me to his computer last night while I was visiting him. Very excitedly, he told me about the movie he wants to see---'of course Grandfather, when I'm old enough to see this kind of movie' [Editor's aside: my God, they are well-brought-up]. And then he played a YouTube movie trailer for me to see."

Didn't we post this before...anyhow (Tony)

Seasonal Greetings, Aliens!

And Gros Bisous to all kissable species!

Freedom Fries feuilleton (16)

Previously: George W. Bush seems to have second thoughts about his administration. Meanwhile, Samuel Fisher, the media tycoon, worries about declining ratings. We've finished the first chapter, and are about to follow a class of Prof. John Yoo, the author of the torture memos, who has returned to his chair at Berkeley University.

Chapter 2

The classroom with its white tables, whiteboards, and overhead projector conveyed the so-so appearance of a better UC campus, yet the linoleum on the floor gave the fact away that California’s university system had basically run out of money since Proposition Thirteen in 1978. Jim felt slightly awkward in this bluish overall, but he had come solely for the purpose of today’s happening, and so he was sitting nervously next to Liz, who had made him do this.

 Liz was obsessed with Yoo because she loved constitutional law. She would sit up in bed at night and read Supreme Court opinions like other girls of her bend would read Jane Austen---not to study really, no, to relish an outdated language with pointers to a distant, politer past. She was the only con law student in America who did not aspire to become Supreme Court judge; instead she dreamed of a humbler job, Reporter of Decisions. The reporter is charged with the syllabus, an introduction to court opinions that supposedly help the public to understand the context, and the syllabus usually does its best to compete with the arcane language of the opinion itself. She would write more language for the record of the court than any individual judge. It’s a nice position, fairly well paid, and you work closely with the Justices. Reporter of decisions under Chief Justice Pamela Timbers, that was her ambition. Timbers was actually serving as dean of Berkeley’s law school at the moment, but she was clearly destined for higher things, and Liz would follow her to the Supreme Court. Liz was mesmerized by Pamela, infatuated with Pamela, captivated by Pamela. It wasn’t sexual---let’s hope---, but that was the only thing it wasn’t. Pamela and Liz had become so close; it wasn’t even clear whether today’s happening wasn’t Pamela’s idea.

Yoo was not particularly talented as a speaker, and the rest of the class was bored, except for Liz. Zack was sitting behind them. The clicky noises from there probably meant Zack readied the camcorder. Yes. “Go,” Zack whispered.

Stay tuned for the next installment on Tuesday, or read the entire story published so far here.

Last Try (because it's Christmas ... you know, folks, this season)

We're getting a letter from Barack (yes, that's how it's signed), because we're on this list, you know, folks, ("you know, folks," what else is left of the beaming rhetoric), and it starts:

"Friend --

This time of year, Americans around the country are taking the time to exchange heartfelt messages with friends and loved ones, reflecting on the past year. They write of achievements and setbacks, of births, graduations, promotions, and moves..."

It's a very long letter by email standards. You've noticed the words "heartfelt," and "setback?" OK, one last try. One last try:



-"Who's blinking?"

Letdown

Man tried to halt austerity measures in the Romanian parliament through suicide

but failed.

-"This brings to mind an anecdote from my student days in Berlin, Germany, where we were living in this Wohngemeinschaft (sort of mini-fraternity, self organized, radical, in those days, of course), located at the first (Am: second) floor of an apartment building. And we had this dude who would threaten suicide by jumping out of the window."
-"And what happened?"
-"Well I pointed out that the jump would hardly injure him."
-"And."
-"Everybody hated me."

The view today

You don't want to know...

...it's raining cats and dogs.

The washed-up scriptwriter and more: novel novel material (Jacki)

Jacki (Jacki and Jacky are not the same person, don't get confused) sends this fragment. Enjoy:

He Grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.

He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear. "Just relax."

Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure.

When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage.. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.

Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking "No" for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say ... "Okay Mam," said a voice, "All done."

My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my purse. "You can board your flight now."

Up, up, and away

...Say what you like...

-"Bush father, whatever his name was, he would always take two steps at a time when climbing the AirForce1 staircase."
-"Bush's father and Bush's father, they were fathers."
-"He's on his way to Hawaii, which, as a considerable percentage of Real Americans know, is not a part of the US."
-"Obviously, since it's a part of Kenya."
-"There's one drawback, though, you can see Hawaii from Wasilla, Alaska."

A Christmas story (Jacki)

It can't be told often enough.

Winter solstice, the shortest day of the year

Richard Cohen has a nice piece in the International Herald Tribune about today, the shortest day of the year on the northern hemisphere.

Winter solstice at Stonehenge

Here are a few highlights:

WHAT is the winter solstice, and why bother to celebrate it? The word “solstice” derives from the Latin sol (meaning sun) and statum (stand still), and reflects what we see on the first days of summer and winter when, at dawn for two or three days, the sun seems to linger for several minutes in its passage across the sky, before beginning to double back.

Virtually all cultures have their own way of acknowledging this moment. The Welsh word for solstice translates as “the point of roughness,” while the Talmud calls it “Tekufat Tevet,” first day of “the stripping time.” For the Chinese, winter’s beginning is “dongzhi,” when one tradition is making balls of glutinous rice, which symbolize family gathering. In Korea, these balls are mingled with a sweet red bean called pat jook. According to local lore, each winter solstice a ghost comes to haunt villagers. The red bean in the rice balls repels him.

In parts of Scandinavia, the locals smear their front doors with butter so that Beiwe, sun goddess of fertility, can lap it up before she continues on her journey. (One wonders who does all the mopping up afterward.) Later, young women don candle-embedded helmets, while families go to bed having placed their shoes all in a row, to ensure peace over the coming year.

Pagan elements in Swedish Christmas celebrations

The transition from Roman paganism to Christianity, with its similar rites, took several centuries. With the Emperor Constantine’s conversion to Christianity in the fourth century, customs were quickly appropriated and refashioned, as the sun and God’s son became inextricably entwined. Thus, although the New Testament gives no indication of Christ’s actual birthday (early writers preferring a spring date), in 354 Pope Liberius declared it to have befallen on Dec. 25.

The advantages of Christmas Day being celebrated then were obvious. As the Christian commentator Syrus wrote: “It was a custom of the pagans to celebrate on the same Dec. 25 the birthday of the sun, at which they kindled lights in token of festivity .... Accordingly, when the church authorities perceived that the Christians had a leaning to this festival, they took counsel and resolved that the true Nativity should be solemnized on that day.” In Christendom, the Nativity gradually absorbed all other winter solstice rites, and the co-opting of solar imagery was part of the same process. Thus the solar discs that had once been depicted behind the heads of Asian rulers became the halos of Christian luminaries. Despite the new religion’s apparent supremacy, many of the old customs survived — so much so that church elders worried that the veneration of Christ was being lost. In the fifth century, St. Augustine of Hippo and Pope Leo the Great felt compelled to remind their flocks that Christ, not the sun, was their proper object of their worship.

Freedom Fries feuilleton (15)

Previously: A show about the Bush administration is running on Lynx TV, and it is watched in various places, including the office of George Lukacs, the hedge fund star.

“Mr. Bush is the triumph of the seemingly average American man,” the Lynx anchor continued, while her image gave way to footage of the axis of evil---Bush, Rumsfeld, and Cheney, who were taking, yes, that was the word, taking the national anthem. Each with his right hand pressed to the breast, they stood to attention as the star-spangled hymn played and dark clouds raced across a gray sky.

“He’s normal. He thinks in a sort of common-sense way,” Bartholomeo continued in voice overlay. Lukacs, still holding Ron’s arm, had started to tremble. Ron, who thought himself close to his boss, was feeling the pain. What happens if he collapses? If he dies? If I lose my job? We need to stop this. He pointed to the remote on the desk, conspicuously. Lukacs got Ron’s message, indeed grabbed the remote, and pushed the off button, but to no avail.

“He speaks the language of business and sports and politics,” Bartholomeo’s voice commented the anthem-playing, breast-pressing, cloud-racing patriotism on her screen. Lukacs tried other buttons, furiously. The remote was kaput.

“You know him. He’s not exotic,” Bartholomeo persisted. Lukacs handed the remote to Ron. Ron tried all sorts of buttons. Nada.

“But if there’s a fire on the block, he’ll run out and help. He’ll help direct the rig to the right house and count the kids coming out and say, ‘where’s Sally?’” Lukacs grabbed the remote back, hit more buttons. He finally hit the desk with the damned device face down.

“He’s responsible. He’s not an intellectual. Intellectuals start all the trouble in the world,” Bartholomeo continued.

“That’s Hitler,” Lukacs yelled at the top of his Hungarian accent. “Intellectuals start all the trouble in the world…pure Hitler.” He grabbed the damned remote again, clasped it firmly, bent his right arm backwards, and threw it with all his hedge fund force at the TV-screen. He did not miss. The set made the diving pitch of an approaching bombshell, flickered one last time, and died.

Stay tuned for the next installment on Friday, or read the entire story published so far here.

Green lights are all lightening up where they should, and the 2010 World Fireworks Championships in Oman are progressing nicely (Jacky)

Jacky is having a great time in Muscat, Oman (we've been there once, and we liked it too, a very neat place, not at all like Athens, haha).

And, apparently, there's something in it for us, too. Jacky writes: "The French team ( La Croix) won the World Fireworks Championship. I am just editing my film about their show and I will send it to you asap so you can all celebrate the win! They got an amazing gold and silver trophy and the party is still going on."

Anyhow, here's her latest clip, enjoy:

Bloody Germans (German for beginners (18)) (Dirk)

Bear with us...

More about naked girls---sort of (Glenn)

Cannes and the Mercantour (the southern-most part of the Alpes) this afternoon

As seen from the top of our hill, the Pic Martin

at 15:15

and at 16:45.

The top ridge of the Mercantour defines the border between France and Italy.

Freedom Fries feuilleton (14)

Previously: A show about the Bush administration is running on Lynx TV, and it is watched in various places, including the office of George Lukacs, the hedge fund star.

“History’s Justice was our theme tonight, and President Bush has done well. He did not torture.”

Why does he do this to himself, Ron thought. He was standing next to his boss who sat in his modest Aeron chair behind his modest desk, obviously transfixed by the screaming Lynx queen. Why does he do this to himself? He could be the happiest billionaire in the world; why this obsession with Bush?

Ron cast a sideway glance at the wall behind the desk. Another oddity. Other hedge fund titans would have a Rothko hanging there, or a Francis Bacon. Yet Lukacs, who had practically invented hedge funds, and who, on this metric, ought to have a decaying crocodile waiting there---swimming in a formaldehyde tank with the letters Damien Hirst printed in gold on its decaying snout--- George Lukacs had instead opted for a wall of fame. It was covered by too many frames competing for too little space, each showing off an important award. Ron felt guilty because he was in charge of the arrangement, but the awards came in so fast, and George wouldn’t hear of any suggestion to move office. Ron cast his eyes upon one the ugliest, which had been calligraphed over a blunt raster image of a middling Daytona race car defined by its phallic tailpipe; it read: American Hedge Fund Award of the Year, category 24 hours. George Lukacs returning plus US$ 1.6 BILLION by shortening Lehman stock on Sept. 21, 2008. Ron remembered the day.

Lukacs must have sensed Ron’s absentmindedness, since he touched his arm and pointed to the screen. Ron, in turn, sensed Lukacs’ despair. George is transfixed by Lynx the way a washed-up gambler is transfixed by the tables, he thought.

Stay tuned for the next installment on Tuesday, or read the entire story published so far here.

Two girls walk by---not quite, but, OK, bear with us (Glenn)

-"Hey, they are not wearing bras!"

-"Hey, they are not wearing shirts!"

Not Justin Bieber (Glenn)

Natalie: 10 years in 1:25 minutes

The latest on Justin Bieber's sex life

...just kidding...

Mapping facebook

Freedom Fries feuilleton (13)

Previously: A show about the Bush administration is running on Lynx TV, also watched by LYNX's founder, Samuel Fisher, and the show's anchor Betty Bartholomeo. Fisher has just introduced her to a new, real-time ratings system. She is interviewing Professor John Yoo, the author of the famous torture memos during the Bush administration, and her last question has been: “Professor … if the president deems that he’s got to torture somebody, including by crushing the testicles of the person’s child, there is no law that can stop him?”

-“No treaty,” Professor Yoo replied, the face straight again.
- Also no law by Congress?
-“I think it depends on why the President thinks he needs to do that.”---the charts lost vibrancy; receptiveness fell.

Bartholomeo changed tack:”Well, President Bush did not torture.”
-“Congress has no power to tie the President’s hands in regards to torture as an interrogation technique.”
-“But the president did not torture.”
-“There is a category of behavior not covered by the legal system ...If you were an illegal combatant, you didn’t deserve the protection of the laws of war... They were tried in a military court, and executed,”---receptiveness rose briefly, then fell again.

Batholomeo pleaded: “Professor, could you please answer my question? Did the president torture, or did he not?”---receptiveness rose.
-“It’s the core of the Commander-in-Chief function. They can’t prevent the President from ordering torture,”---receptiveness fell.

Fisher sat down next to Betty and whispered in her ear:”Useless, this Yoo. Never mention Congress. Worse for the ratings than you are.” Betty jolted.
-“Did I hurt your feelings?” Fisher asked, and kissed her on her cheek.
-“Well, President Bush knew how to answer this question,” anchor Betty continued.

Bush himself re-appeared on the screen, and, jumping from one clip to the next, wearing a different tie each time, asserted:
-“We do not torture.”
-“We do not torture.”
-“We do not torture.”

Stay tuned for the next installment on Friday, or read the entire story published so far here.

Kim Yong Il feels lonely (Glenn)

The latest from France (Glenn)

Hi-res camera catches couple in the act (Glenn)

A helicopter goes about on it's helicopter tour when...

...one of the passengers sees something through the lens of his camera...

...he zooms in...huh...what is that?...

...he zooms in some more...oh, wow! look at that...

...I can't believe what I'm seeing!...

...OMG!...LOL!...

"This is really funny," we wrote to Glenn.
"Especially the expression on the male's face," he wrote back.

Adult content for Children (Glenn)

-"It's not a minuet."

Ohne worte (Spanish for beginners) (Tony)

Polygamous speed dating (washed-up scriptwriter)

Hi folks (as President Obama would say), the research for my Freedom Fries novel has led me to the blog Nuts & Boalts, which chronicles the life at Berkeley law school, and there was this one post by a Jackie (scroll down the page) that fascinated me quite a bit, since I've been to Utah myself, and never really thought about it in these terms. Here's the focal passage:

"I have complicated feelings about polygamy but my gut reaction is one of distaste. I grew up in a suburb in Utah not too far from the TLC family. Polygamy certainly wasn't prevalent, but we all knew where the polygamists lived and we recognized their distinct clothes and hairstyles at the grocery store. As I got older, this fact bothered me; everyone knew where the polygamous communities were, yet local or state government only seemed to prosecute polygamy when it made the press. This usually happened because some young girl left (or escaped) a polygamous community and was brave enough to come forward and demand action. I couldn't help but wonder how many girls my age were living in unwanted polygamous marriages, waiting to be saved."

And while we are at it, here's the corresponding clip, enjoy:

Prince Charles and Camilla in mortal danger (1)

-"Chop their heads off, some students were reportedly shouting, as the Prince of Wales and his consort were driving past in their reinforced 1977 Rolls-Royce Phantom."
-"That's the spirit, President Obama!"
-"Call me a snob, but I always thought an elderly RR is the only proper car for the opera."
-"And they were watching Fidelio, of course."
-"Of course."

Freedom Fries feuilleton (12)

Previously: A show about the Bush administration is running on Lynx TV, also watched by LYNX's founder, Samuel Fisher, and the show's anchor Betty Bartholomeo. Fisher has just introduced Betty to a new system for measuring ratings.

“The ratings are down,” Fisher continued. And they still fall. It’s not only your fault. Meters tell us. Mostly the administration, of course. There is anger and fear, yes, and disgust, but it isn’t balanced by the joy of a good crisis. It’s all about unemployment and foreclosures. Boring stuff. Macro-economics. Paul Krugman. That sort of thing. Obama is insulting our intelligence every day, why can’t he insult the Sheikh of Djerba, or prime president Putin, or somebody else near a red button? Nothing beats a good crisis when it comes to network TV. Obama isn’t listening. No, it’s not only your fault.”

“What are you trying to tell me?” Betty decided to ask. She had to make a stand now, and pursed her lips in preparation, but der Führer had already turned around and raised the TV sound again.

“A danger to every working American family,” the TV sounded, “these terrorist were subsequently secured in Guantanamo Bay, though the liberal media could never forgive that America was kept safe by enhanced interrogation techniques. But History’s Judgment prevailed.”

Another screen split, this time with an oriental face, roundish, smooth, academic, male.

-“Here we have the author of the enhanced interrogation memos, Professor John Yoo of Berkeley University, who knows more than anybody else about torture” ---the oriental face winced---“Professor … if the president deems that he’s got to torture somebody, including by crushing the testicles of the person’s child, there is no law that can stop him?”---the charts chuckled, disgust was especially vibrant, and receptiveness rose.

Stay tuned for the next installment on Tuesday, or read the entire story published so far here.

Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea (Glenn)

Just listen to me, listen to me, please, or at least to my advisor

What's perhaps most instructive about this clip (a defense of the Obama tax "compromise" by Austan Goolsbee, the new WH economics advisor) is the number of YouTube views: 301 (threehundred and one, total).

Why men are never depressed (German for beginners) (Jacki & Tony)

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8..95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier..

The Oman 2010 World Fireworks Championships (Jacky)

Jacky produced this clip...



...and she writes: "Oman is a really great place! I love it here. The Omani people take huge pride in their country and they are incredibly warm and friendly. There are so many Princes.... and all of them give memorable parties! One of my next big trips is to Everest! From one extreme to another! I am making a film about the recreation of the first flight over the summit of Everest in a Westland Wallace Biplane back in 1933! ! Investors have already funded half the plane...I'm hoping to persuade a rich Arab that he wants to own the other half! They are very fond of boys toys in the Middle East.... so fingers crossed.... otherwise I'll be searching in Monaco and can visit all my lovely friends in Le Trayas on the way! "

Dominique Strauss-Kahn (IMF) and Jean-Claude Trichet (European Central Bank)

Find a caption:

-"Annie & Max (Trichet) are somehow related to Trichet."

Freedom Fries feuilleton (11)

Previously: A show about the Bush administration is running on Lynx TV, also watched by LYNX's founder, Samuel Fisher, and the show's anchor Betty Bartholomeo. Fisher has just introduced Betty to a new system for measuring ratings.

Fisher walked back and forth across the breadth of his titanic mezzanine office; outside, the dark, starless sky served as backdrop of Manhattan's electric skyline. Betty studied him, then herself.

“Our theme tonight is History's Justice,” her understudy said on the screen, “and we should not fail to mention Bush's intervention in Afghanistan, where he vigorously and courageously chased, and almost caught Al Qaida head Bin Laden, and countless other terrorists.”

The image of an uncompromising Arabic face with deep-set eyes, hollow cheeks, and a hopeless beard appeared on the screen. The readings on the rating screen jerked in excitement.

Fisher lowered the sound again, and intervened:” The white line … sums it all up for us. We have only one small problem with the meters. The ratings are down.” He pointed to the third screen. Betty already knew. The ratings were going south. They were down this week, and this month, and this year. What if I die, she thought, would it help? Her best performance had been in, yes, 2003, right at the top of the war, the day that American troops had toppled Saddam’s statue in downtown Baghdad. She remembered the minute. Fisher would remember it as well. Even Bin Laden appeared to remember, the way he stared pensively at her from the screen.

Stay tuned for the next installment on Friday, or read the entire story published so far here.

What happened before the Big Bang?

The big bang mystery (what happened before the big bang?)
may have been solved by Roger Penrose (an old friend of FF) and his coworkers at Oxford University. Penrose starts with established notions about an ever-expanding universe subject to the laws of thermodynamics, i.e. entropy.

"At first the universe becomes less uniform as it evolves and objects form within it. Once enough time has passed, however, all of the matter around will end up being sucked into black holes. As Stephen Hawking has demonstrated, black holes eventually evaporate in a burst of radiation. That process increases uniformity, eventually to the level the universe began with."

Now---this is Penrose's creative assumption---past a certain level of uniformity, the Higgs field may disappear. The Higgs field imbues particles with mass; without it, all particles would be massless and, by Einstein's relativity theory, forced to travel at the speed of light (as behooves photons, for example).

"That (as Einstein showed) means that from the particle’s point of view time stands still and space contracts to nothingness. If all particles in the universe were massless, then, the universe would look to them to be infinitely small. And an infinitely small universe is one that would undergo a Big Bang."

HAHA!

Even better, Penrose's new theory comes with testable predictions. Black holes would occasionally collide during the later stages of the universe's evolution, and gravitational waves would result. These waves would survive the big bang à la Penrose; they would be witnesses of the bing bang's prehistory.

AND?

YES!

Corresponding gravitational waves have now been found (pictured above).

"KASSA! KASSA!" would Samuel Fisher say.

-"This is such a good idea, it must be true."

Icy patches in the Esterel, this afternoon

Freedom Fries feuilleton (10)

Previously: A show about the Bush administration is running on Lynx TV, eagerly followed by Doubya and Laura, who have retired to Texas. Betty Bartholomeo is the show's anchor. They've just been confronted with the Abu Ghraib torture picture.

Old news, used news, no reason to get aggravated. Still, Doubya stopped swinging his gun as the snapshot appeared on the screen. Laura observed the nexus between torture and gun-swinging, and made a mental note.

-“I should have accepted Rummie’s resignation right then,” Doubya said.
-“He didn’t offer any resignation right then.”
-“Well, he was sort of misingenuous. On TV, he said, he did, right?”

He does it again, Laura thought. “Disingenuous,” she said, “disingenuous, not misingenuous. Disingenuous.”
-“English as first language,” Doubya replied, “a recipe for trouble, especially with former librarians to whom one happens to be married.”

He could have swung his gun again, Laura thought, which he didn’t. She was grateful.
-“You’d be no better in Spanish,” Laura stated.
-“Mexican is my strong suit.”

Okay, she thought. He won. I still love him. She looked out of the window, where the orange of the western sky had turned purple. “Those pictures were mistakenly called torture, although there had been no organ failure, nor death,” Lynx interrupted.

Stay tuned for the next installment on Tuesday, or read the entire story published so far here.

Niveaulimbo

Just teasing. More tomorrow.

Euromess (what else)

Barry Eichengreen, a professor of economics at Berkeley, and one of the most Euro-friendly individuals among leading American Economists, has a piece in the German Handelsblatt (the German WSJ but without Peggy Noonan baggage), that has now been published on the blog The Irish Economy in English translation.

Excerpts:

The Irish “rescue package” finalized over the weekend is a disaster. You can say one thing for the European Commission, the ECB and the German government: they never miss an opportunity to make things worse.

[It]solves exactly nothing – it simply kicks the can down the road. A public debt that will now top out at around 130 per cent of GDP has not been reduced by a single cent. The interest payments that the Irish sovereign will have to make have not been reduced by a single cent, given the rate of 5.8% on the international loan. After a couple of years, not just interest but also principal is supposed to begin to be repaid. Ireland will be transferring nearly 10 per cent of its national income as reparations to the bondholders, year after painful year.

This is not politically sustainable, as anyone who remembers Germany’s own experience with World War I reparations should know. A populist backlash is inevitable. The Commission, the ECB and the German Government have set the stage for a situation where Ireland’s new government, once formed early next year, rejects the budget negotiated by its predecessor. Do Mr. Trichet and Mrs. Merkel have a contingency plan for this?

Mandarin for beginners (Tony)

原來國家的名字 可以如此浪漫，最後一個最經典
你有沒有想過這 些耳熟能詳的國名拆字起來竟能 如此浪漫嗎？
比如荷蘭.....
如果也把台灣的 國名拆成個別的英文字母呢?
這樣你就會發現 『為什麼台灣要改國名』了！

HOLLAND 荷蘭
Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies
希望我們的愛永 恆不變

ITALY 義大利
I Trust And Love You
我相信你和愛你

LIBYA 利比亞
Love Is Beautiful, You Also
愛是美麗的 你也是

FRANCE 法蘭西
Friendships Remain And Never Can End
友誼永固

CHINA 中國
Come Here, I Need All
來這，我什麼都 要

BURMA 緬甸
Between Us, Remember Me Always
我們之間，常常 記得我

NEPAL 尼泊爾
Never Ever Part As Lovers
像情人一樣永不 分開

INDIA 印度
I Nearly Died In Adoration
我差點在狂愛中 死去

KENYA 肯雅
Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing
全部東西保養好 來，保持趣味

CANADA 加拿大
Cute And Naughty Action that Develop into Attraction
可愛和頑皮的動 作建造成吸 引力

KOREA 南韓
Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity
雖然事與願違 保持樂觀

EGYPT 埃及
Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!!
十全十美，你這 漂亮的東西

MANILA 馬尼拉
May All Nights Inspire Love Always
漫漫長夜時時刻 刻感到愛

PERU 秘魯
Phorget (forget) Everyone, Remember Us
忘記全部人，記 得我們

THAILAND 泰國
Totally Happy, Always In Love And Never Dull
完全快樂時時刻 刻蜜運中

看了這麼多國家 翻譯出來的字句，都是令人覺得 多麼舒服愉悅啊！

接下來就來看看 台灣吧！

TAIWAN 台灣
TaMaDe! A-bien Is Winning AgaiN!
他媽的！阿扁又 贏了！

-"Let's hope the Chinese text is bona fide."