Nov 6, 2018

"N/A--flames out of 5" -- a new review of "The Fountain of Geneva"

"N/A flames out of 5"---yes, one wonders, at least we did until we realized that CrabbyPatty, our reviewer, was talking about "heat levels."

HEAT LEVELS, folks, do you get it? It's code in M/M pulp fiction as to the sexual explicitness of a text under review. "Five" is extreme, and we, we transcend the "five," we are N/A, folks, even though:

(a) the underlying manuscript got accolades from the editors of the Paris Review and an invite to submit more stuff;
(b) the underlying manuscript is a Bowdlerized version of the original manuscript;
(c) pulp fiction circles swim---and will drown one day---in coded expressions---unless they haven't been burned already by their own HEAT LEVELS---but there's one expression that really applies to them---utterly code-less---and which they will never use (the expression)---namely PULP FICTION;
(d) although said circles have already complained repeatedly about our use of the term 'Bowdlerization'---which shouldn't be so difficult to understand/retrieve for anybody with a reptile brain and an internet connection; it's even in the Word dictionary---even our Bowdlerized version makes these pulp fictionaries go 'N/A';
(e) We are the first author to put this heat-level-shit into a literary context in our novel This Is Heaven.

Okay, here's the entire review by CrabbyPatty:

Title: The Fountain of Geneva
Author: Michael Ampersant
Publisher: LustSpiel Books
Release Date: August 12, 2018
Genre(s): M/M Historical Fiction
Page Count: 26
Reviewed by: CrabbyPatty
Heat Level: N/A flames out of 5
Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5

“The Fountain of Geneva” is a short novella (26 pages) that gives the reader a very “irreverent interpretation of Geneva’s foremost tourist attraction,” the Jet d’Eau of Geneva. The story is told in narrative form as Richard (the librarian of the Geneva City archives) shares the secret information with two men in Geneva on their honeymoon.
I mean, Hadrian did travel to most of the Roman provinces (including modern-day Switzerland) [M.A.: He traveled all provinces, and was the only Roman emperor to do so] and supposedly was the architect of the Pantheon, but erecting (hehe) a fountain in Geneva to his lover? It’s all a fanciful bit of historical fiction, and not a M/M romance, but entertaining nonetheless. 3.5 stars.

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