Apr 28, 2010

Lavender not in our garden (2)

Remember lavandula spica, the bards lavender, the lavender not on Dirk's official lavender list? We were about to call Rubinio, the purveyor of wrong lavender's, while another email from Dirk arrives with a picture of the spica. The "spica" alarm was just false alarm, and we could have know, wiki-wise. "Lavendula spica" is just a different name for the angustofolia, which is also called "lavendula vera" (true lavender, if our Latin hasn't abandoned us).

lavandula vera
lavandula spica

lavandula angustifolia

What Dirk fails to answer, however, is the question which lavender species actually does inform the pope's sweet dreams. And this raises another timely question. What is the content of Benedictus's sweet dreams? What will suggestive lavender scents do to the sleeping, defenseless soul of the pontiff? You get the point? Dreaming of sins...is it actually a sin? And how about those sins, more specifically? Does the spica induce the same sins as the angustofolia? And how about the vera? Over to you, Dirk.

Stop, one more thing. You see this acclivous gaze again, the "scheinheilige Blick nach oben?" Over to you, Dirk.

Stop, one more thing. If I were still the pretty young boy, and Benedictus would dream of me, would this entitle me to financial compensation, perhaps even punitive damages? Over to you, Dirk.

Stop, one more thing. Do you see how awful his teeth are? Over to you, Dirk.

Stop, one more thing. Imagine, fellatio with those teeth. Over to you, Dirk.

Stop, one more thing. This brings to mind Colbert's remark on Comedy Central yesterday about Lloyd Blankfein, the Goldman Sachs CEO, who makes $ 5,000 per hour, and 6,000 when kissing is involved. Over to you, Dirk.

Stop, one more thing. What if the pope dreams of Lloyd Blankfein. Would this be a sin per se, or would it in minimis (Blankfein's words, yesterday, he speaks Latin, folks, that's why he makes so much money) involve something sinful? Over to you, Dirk.

Stop, one more thing. Imagine the two together. Over to you, Dirk.

1 comment:

Dirk said...

Well, I started necessarily some intense research on the Pope's sweet dreams.
My attempt to contact the Holy Father's Personal Secretary, the extremely good-looking (as you certainly know, Michael) Mgr. Georg Gänswein, turned out to be fruitless: The so to speak "Ministrant General" refused to talk to a damned f...ing Lutheran like me. I have other reliable sources! On account of duties and responsibilities the Holy Chair does not sleep! Never ever! The Holy Chair rests (in itself, uh?) ! So, decidedly, there are no dreams, either. Even no sweet ones. Therefore you may terminate your undue speculations about lavandula spica, vera, or angustifolia! - for good and the sake of your soul. Host mi?


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