Oct 15, 2014

"Why this hunting of deer in the rainy forest of the Puget sound?" --- This is heaven (teaser)

We're in the thick of this soap opera and there's not way turning back.  So let's jump right into this pool of foregone lust and ... and what? ... good question. We don't know yet. There will be a happy ending, though, promise. For more context, have a look at the "Green Eyes Zoo," (left column, scroll down)

(In a previous teaser John related an anecdote about an exchange with a certain high school teacher about the construction principles of classical drama. Here are the last lines of the post:) 

 I have him by his nose hair, I really do, and then I go too far and spoil everything---I forgot what I said but I totally miss the Perry Mason moment until it’s too late to say ‘I rest my case.’ Hold on, I remember what I said, I said: “The classical drama depends crucially on people not having cell phones.”

And here's the continuation (recall that we've accompanied Juliette's body to the morgue, that Alex moved out, etc):

Have you ever met a person like Alex? Well, you did, you’re reading this now. A dieu du stade (French), plus frat boy with pedantical features, plus facile drunk---okay, that’s recursive; (b) big brother without clothes, somebody who knows everything and nothing, (c) somebody who owns the room, effortlessly; (d) but if he does make an effort it’s like MTV, especially the head-rolling, especially since we told him---which is sort of ironic since nobody watches MTV anymore;

"Latino boy," Joe Phillips (The model for Alex)

 (e) the boozed-up Alex has no qualms about threesomes with Godehart (up to the point of practically manhandling me), but the sober Alex cites Ben and withdraws to his private cloud bank; (f) he’s profoundly more arrogant than your average frat boy, if I hadn’t compared him to demigods I’d compare him to the pope now---his apologies are as careless as papal blessings; (g) and his talk about heaven; (h) worst of all, it is/was his excuse for “loving” me, this “heaven;” (b-bis) but the big brother is not fake, Alex has a sense of responsibility, his murmurs about ‘day two, day two,’ and ‘day three,’ or his occasional arm on my shoulder, or his fidgeting with my hair; (i) okay, the hair fidgeting is a bit incestuous big-brother-wise, but it is/was the best part; (j) Alice will always love him; (k) you can trust Alice; (l) well, no, she’s got it terribly wrong with Eleanor; (m) yes, but Eleanor was based on sexual attraction, her view of Alex is unbiased; (n) you can’t call Alice now, you went to complain about Alex on Sunday already, she’s busy; (o) and how to explain about Ben? To her? (p) and how about the “Dr. Watson” thing?

Let’s try to get this straight. Sexual preferences are hard wired. Well, who knows, Freud thought differently. Anyhow, if they are hard-wired, the lack of oxygen on Thursday night could have affected Alex’s wires. The gay synapses gone what’s left is aimless libido, polymorph perversity Freud called it (I learned this at Dartmouth). Makes sense, back of the envelope. Unfortunately.

I should keep my powder dry and love him less. Less. People quit smoking, wean themselves off substances and addictions. You’re addicted to him, John, there are pop songs about this, one of which is being performed as we speak---I’m back on the field, Alex said we should stick it out one more day. I’m even selling a pair of crotch shorts. More precisely, Luke is selling a pair of crotch shorts while I look on. Luke has appropriated our market stand and brought in more merchandize, in particular the inflatable life-size puppets clad in neighborhood wear that will disinflate on Thursday at Rapture time (we talked about this in Part I). The next song is also about love-addiction. All songs are about love addiction. Alex’s depression kept him away from the world, now he’s on MTV, soon we’ll have the entire population of Georgia worshipping the dieu du stade as if this were a K-pop concert. What’s he going to do tonight, masturbate Gagnam style? Is his one-night stand with Amy-Lou really history? Is Gagnam K-pop?


Perhaps I can ask the brothers from the Christian Coalition, these people do care about masturbation. Let them explain why I love Jesus more than Alex.

Perhaps I can ask the brothers from the Christian Coalition, these people do care about masturbation. Let them explain why Jesus loves me more than Alex, I mean, why Jesus loves me more than Alex loves me. Or I ask Luke who’d suggest the good offices of a Rapture puppet. All puppets are female, perhaps I should complain, Luke will understand. Luke, like all vampires, has a sixth sense for everything, including for Taylor, who’s pulled by the other homophobe of his tribe across the field as we speak. Taylor isn’t keen, but his pal (“Tex”) won’t let up. “I understand Count Dracula and his folks,” I hear Tex saying as they approach, “they were mean-spirited and banking blood wasn’t on the agenda then, surely they had to feed on humans, but the Cullens of Twilight, Doctor Carlisle is a medical doctor, and they’re so preppy and above the fray and in favor of gun control, I’m sure, I’m sure they’re liberals, all of them, why don’t they just purchase blood?

Dr. Carlisle Cullen
Why this hunting of deer in the rainy forest of the Puget sound?”

“You don’t get it.”
“And you should look at the deer, these cute bambies grazing on succulent ferns growing for the occasion between the Redwood trees. And then there’s a sense of impending danger because the director of photography won’t hold still, bambi’s eye blinking backwards, at us, a cry for help that goes unanswered because we’re strapped to the comfort chairs of this multiplex, popcorn cups in hand. And now she’s off, bambi, running for her life, bambi, and Dr. Carlisle chasing her, although you can’t really see him chasing her, what you see is a vortex of black substance chasing bambi, but it is Carlisle, we can be sure, he’s implied by the story, it’s him or Emmet or Rosalie or Esme or somebody else of his clan.”


Part I of the story is out now on Amazon, available under this link:

Night Owl Reviews

Go here for the previous teaser of This is heaven, and here for a selection of chapters of the Green Eyes.

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